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Five (5) Common Types of Fake Compassion
Let’s say your colleague, or friend, or child, or partner, or family member, or even a stranger starts sharing a problem that pains them deeply. And let’s give this individual the gender-neutral name of “Alex”. And also let’s assume that you sorta care, and do wish to help. For many of us, our habitual responses after Alex starts speaking, are likely to fall into one of five approaches which we sincerely believe to be a “compassionate response”, but … not really.
Fake Compassion #1: Rescuing
I listen to Alex but can’t wait for them to stop talking because. So at the very first moment Alex pauses for breath, I jump in to reveal what Alex should do to solve the problem. Because I know better, I’m smarter, I’m more experienced, I’m senior etc. And of course, because I care, I have a ‘duty’ to rescue Alex. It’s irrelevant that they didn’t ask to be rescued. Because from my vantage point, Alex is drowning and doesn’t even know it, so thank God I’m here to save them. By the way, I’m thinking to myself that Alex should be grateful, and a thank you would be nice.
To be clear, there are situations when we need to “rescue” others, ergo…
